Martha or Mary?

Martha, Mary and Jesus by Simon DEWEY

Now as they went on their way, he entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what he was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, ‘Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me.’ But the Lord answered her, ‘Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing.* Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.’

Luke 10.38-end

Martha seems to get somewhat unfair treatment in this reading. In fact, when we hear of Martha and Mary, it is Martha who always comes off badly. Mary is the super-spiritual one, Martha is just rushing around doing stuff.

But wasn’t Martha doing good work? Wasn’t hospitality an almost sacred duty in Jewish culture? Wouldn’t Jesus and his disciples be expecting food on the table at mealtime? I mean, who else was going to prepare it?

Also, the contrast with other Bible readings is provocative. In Genesis 18, when Abraham has three mysterious visitors arrive, his hospitality is painted in a very different light.
They both have guests that arrive. They both rush around making preparations for hospitality. Abraham leaves his guests and runs off and sets massive preparations underway in order to offer a lavish feast to his guests; Martha busies herself in the kitchen getting a meal ready. But Abraham gets praised for it whilst Martha is castigated.
Why the difference?

Is it because Martha had to do the work herself, whereas Abraham had Sarah and slaves to do all the work? Is this another way in which the rich are blessed and the poor get it in the neck?

I would like to suggest that Martha was actually a quite remarkable woman, there are a few clues that show this to us.

In a very patriarchal time, she was a woman who ran her own household. The reading tells us ‘Martha welcomed Jesus into HER home. So she was the head of the household.

Now, for a woman to invite a man into her home was unusual in this culture. Welcoming Jesus and his disciples into her house was the fullest form of hospitality Martha could have offered and it involved substantial generosity.

Martha must also have been a woman of means as her home is large enough to welcome Jesus and his disciples to stay and she has enough food to feed them all.

Martha shows another form of courage too. Jesus was a dangerous friend to have, the authorities – both civil and religious, had Jesus on their radar. It was dangerous to associate too closely with Jesus, people were watching. The authorities were already trying to find a way to kill Jesus. But Martha was willing to face the consequences and let everyone know of her devotion to Jesus.

Martha seems to be so comfortable with Jesus that she has no problem rebuking him for what she sees as his failure to send Mary to help her. She vents her frustration;

‘Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself?
Tell her then to help me.’

Martha is effectively saying, “Tell Mary to fulfil the traditional woman’s role.”

Martha’s outburst was not unreasonable. In the culture of the time, women did not sit at the feet of a rabbi and listen to him teach. They stayed in the home, they cooked, they cleaned, they washed the clothes, they usually never learned to read or write. It was only boys who went to school.

So Mary, sitting down at the feet of Jesus and listening to his teaching alongside a group of men, was strongly counter-cultural, unthinkable, scandalous even!

There is an interesting fact about Mary of Bethany. Every time she appears in the Bible, she is described as sitting at Jesus’ feet.

Here we read, “Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what he was saying.”

Later when Lazarus dies and Jesus goes to raise him from the dead, we are told Mary went to Jesus and “fell at his feet.” (John 11:32 NIV).

In a third instance in John 12:1-8, Mary was at a dinner given in Jesus’ honour. We are told that Mary took expensive perfume worth about a year’s wages for a labourer – £25k in today’s money, which is a sign of her wealth – and she poured it on Jesus’ feet and sat and wiped his feet with her long hair. Again Mary is shown as sitting at the feet of Jesus.

Incidentally, Martha is also at this event, what is she doing? She is described as serving the meal.

It is not an accident that in every appearance of Mary we are shown her sitting at Jesus’ feet. She is being presented as perhaps the most ardent disciple Jesus had. She crosses cultural obstacles that would normally have excluded a woman from being a disciple of a Rabbi and she is willing to break the social norms of women in the kitchen and the men doing the learning. She is determined to learn all she could of Jesus’ teaching.

So, what does Jesus do in response to Martha’s rebuke about his failure to do the right thing and tell Mary to help her?

Firstly, we note that Jesus doesn’t take offense, but he calmly explains that Mary has made a good choice, even the better choice, the choice to be his disciple, and he will not take that away from her. Mary has prioritized listening to Jesus over her traditional and expected female role. Jesus affirms this and breaks the social taboo over the role of women, he encourages Mary’s desire to listen and learn.

Note that Jesus didn’t say that Martha’s service wasn’t valuable or important. But Jesus wanted Martha to realise two things;

• Being His disciple and learning about His teachings come first. All other things are secondary.
• Secondly, Jesus tells her she was “worried and distracted about many things.” We get a sense that Martha was an activist, hurrying and bustling about, doing lots of, no doubt good, kind and generous things. But this was done to such an extent that it was killing her spiritual life. Martha’s fixation on being the perfect hostess was creating anxiety, bringing negative feelings towards her sister, and had even led her to a public outburst of pique towards Jesus. Jesus’ response is to invite Martha to find balance. Do all your wonderful good, kind and generous work, but don’t neglect your own spiritual life.

What are the lessons for us today. The ‘So what?’ question.

Well the obvious one is who do we see ourselves as in this story? Are we Mary or Martha?

Are we, like Mary, able to prioritise the spiritual so that we make time to “sit at Jesus’ feet”. Are we able to send time listening to Jesus in prayer, learning of him in Bible reading and study, are we paying enough attention to be able to notice the Holy Spirit’s promptings in our daily life?

Or are we, like Martha, “worried and distracted by many things?” Racing from one thing to another, with a noisy mind that can’t cope with stillness, quiet, can’t make space for God, is that killing our spiritual life?

But looking at Martha’s good points, have we, like Martha, the courage to identify with Jesus publicly, even when that may not go down well?

Like Martha, are we willing to generously offer our resources to Jesus for him to use?
How do you see yourself? How is God prompting you to respond to this gospel reading?